flagrant faggot foul: the kobe bryant incident

so, in a basketball game a couple of days ago, kobe bryant called a ref a "f*cking faggot." for that, he's been fined $100,000 dollars.

of course, because of the sensitivity of the word, tempers flared. some folks want kobe's head. how could you say such a thing? that's awful! so disrespectful!

others think that it's overboard. he was in an intense game, got a call that he didn't agree with, and said some choice words. were they the best? perhaps not. but that's what happens in the heat of the moment.

i won't address mr. bryant, who has since come out and said that he didn't mean it in the usual sense of the word. i don't know his intention. i don't know his heart. let's assume that he was angry and in the heat of the moment made a misstep. we've all done that. we just don't have the issue of being followed by cameras.

the issue i want to discuss is the issue of language, and how language is used to express cultural norms. the things that we say about each other and about ourselves serve to affirm the cultural norms and to make clear what it is not. the reason why people are upset about it isn't just because it's kobe. it's a bigger picture that i think people are missing. hopefully this post will shed some light.

particularly with african american males, even the christian ones, we are taught that masculinity is toughness. strength. power. might. and yes, sexual prowess with the women. there is a certain way to act and be. just listen to popular rap music. even CHRISTIAN rap, while it may not be sexually explicit, still is carried by the "hardness" of the emcee, the "in your face" nature of the delivery (and yes, the lyrics and the message count as well. i had to add that before some lecrae fans jumped me lol).

the reason why this sticks out to me is because i know what it feels like to be called a faggot...and punched in the face soon after. i know exactly how it feels to be called gay, then dragged to an empty tennis court and beat with a stick for several minutes. and yes, that actually happened. i know how it feels to be viewed a certain way, simply because of mannerisms or behaviors that i had, without anyone asking me directly. just snickers and laughs. looked at strangely for things that were not intentional and and not in my control. did i mention that a lot of these were christian folks, too? know how it feels to be called and all of those words that we use to describe things that we think are "less than a man."

but if those words haven't been used against you, that probably doesn't register. it doesn't carry any weight with you.

but, if you're a black man in america, you've probably seen eyes on the prize once or twice. you've had black history day at school. you've read about how our race was terrorized and brutalized. we were called "niggers."

it was meant to demean us. and they called us niggers while punching us in the face, and while beating us with sticks.

a large percentage of black men would have a big issue being called a nigger/nigga. but they are okay with calling someone else a faggot. or calling something unsatisfactory "gay."

i think there is a problem with that.

and let me be clear, this isn't about where people stand theologically about homosexuality. i think this applies on both sides of the fence, whether you affirm it or not. we all could stand to do better with how we address people.

what if it were you?

what if it was your brother or sister?

how would you feel if something that is a part of you (for better or for worse) was consistently thrown at you as a negative?

so, perhaps when you hear the word "faggot," it doesn't do anything to you. but it's not a bad thing or strange that it means something for countless other people. that word brings about feelings of hurt, pain, and inferiority that have been inflicted upon them.

does that mean that it's okay to jump all over kobe for saying that? maybe not. but if a white dude called a black ref a nigga?

#fatality

#gameover

am i right? well, never mind. i'm not writing this blog post to be agreed with. in this case, i know i'm right.

my purpose in presenting this post was just to put that other view out there. i hope i was successful.