Where Did These Oats Come From?

oh, fair warning, this blog is NSFCWWRTTIBM : not safe for christians who will read this and automatically think that i'm involved in a bunch of mess

for the record, I'M NOT. just expressing some reflections.

it's popular thought that at some point a man will have a period where he would run wild, gallivant, and live it up. you know, all the words we use to collectively mean having lots of carefree sex, getting drunk, and other behaviors that we don't necessarily want to encourage when someone settles down.

a popular phrase for that is "sowing one's wild oats."

a lot of people i know had this period. they especially had this period before they committed their lives more fully to christ. in fact, it was the results of the oat sowing that drove them to their knees in the first place.

i never had this oat sowing stage. i think my environment, upbringing, and temperament all worked together to convince me not to go buck wild.

i remember one of the very few conversations i ever had about sex. it was with my mom, and i was working at a department store at the time. i was around 17 and i wasn't seriously walking with christ yet.

Dell: well mom, i decided that if i do have sex at all, i'm going to wait.


mom: you say that now, but you just never know. i will tell you this though, if you ever got someone pregnant, you'd have to get a job.

now, "job" meant more than the basic definition. it meant that i would be stuck in the hood working in value city and not able to go to the college of my dreams because i would be a DADDY. and i said hail to the naw.

but as i'm getting older...it seems like these oats that most christian folk my age are tired of sowing are sneaking up on me! it's ODD! it's WEIRD! but it's also LIBERATING! and while a part of me doesn't like it...there is a part of me that is okay with it. unfortunately, the latter is also the side that is better at throwing tantrums until it gets its way.

i find myself saying these things to myself much more often:

"i shouldn't do that."

"i shouldn't think that."

"why did i do that?"

"that was FUN!"

oh, and my favorite, "WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

now i have done anything stupid YET...mainly because version 4 threatened me. also, i'm aware of the responsibilities that i have. i CAN'T just do whatever i want just because i feel like it. people watch me. people depend on me. crap, I depend on me and some of these actions will take me out of the game!

but i can't help but ask myself: where did these oats come from? and why now? do they even have to be WILD oats? because let's face, some of that stuff is a blast but it can bring about really BAD THINGS. can i have a box of calmer oats instead? like a box of cheerios?

pretty please?