Bonfire for Jesus!

at various times in my walk with christ, one could say that i was "on fire." you know, that time when god is the most real thing to you. when you'd rather pray than eat. when you threw out every non-christian cd you had. when the words of the bible jumped right off the page.

early on, i didn't quite get the lingo, this "being on fire for god" thing. even when i was very little i had an aversion to religious language. yes, i wanted to be close to god, but on fire? the idea left some interesting images in my mind. if i was on fire, would there be smoke? because, you know, where there's fire smoke is there, too. and since i could assume that it was a holy fire, does that mean there will be holy smoke? is that the same smoke that filled the jewish temple? do i have to stop, drop, and roll to avoid this smoke? would it be appropriate to sing "breathe" when this type of smoke appeared? these are all important questions.

perhaps the fire was spontaneous and uncontrollable. i didn't want to risk being a hazard. so i considered getting on of these for my window.

a holy tot-finder! just in case this child of god gets "too hot." 

but then i thought it could be a negative thing. is this whole "on fire" business passionate love for god...or is it a punishment? because a lot of people seem like they are in pain when they are on fire, naturally AND spiritually. some folks seemed depressed, angry, and convinced that god is a just one sin away from blowing everyone away. and that seems more like a curse than a blessing. so, being the pop-culture person that i am, i could only think of god doing something like this:

clearly, that is something i would like to avoid. my humanity is kind of attuned to avoid things like fire, destruction, and other things that kill and char to the bone. i like that part about me. i mean, that's the reason i look both ways to cross the street.

as i journeyed along my walk with christ, i sincerely have experienced times when i was "on fire." those were good times. times of growth and times of power. the problem with fires though...is that they consume stuff. and after that, they go out. at various times i found myself trying to get my "fire" back (which is a little like getting your sexy back, but with less skin and more prayer). 

however, i've learned that passion doesn't always equate emotion. it's what grips you. it's what motivates you. it's what you will do when you're tired. i want that passion for god...and i think i have it. at various times there will be emotion behind it, sometimes there won't be. 

what i also realized is that my fire hasn't necessarily  simmered down. it's been tempered with WISDOM. zeal without wisdom is incredibly dangerous, and that's why a lot of young believers fizzle out. they just go full steam ahead and they flame out because of a lack of understanding about god, life, and themselves. i still like to take risks for god, i've just learned from my mistakes.

i think that being "on fire" at times has become a christian fad. it's the cool thing to do and be. but in my view, being on fire looks more like a personality type than an expression of god being alive in someone.

being on fire looks like this:

or like this:

but not like this...

Black men don't do this. It's too quiet. (note the sarcasm)

and most certainly not like this...

those last two pictures detail how i experience god in the most clear, precise way. it doesn't mean that the other expressions are bad, but if that's all being on fire for god is then i don't stand a chance. 

and neither do other folks who don't express themselves like that. i believe that god has created each of us uniquely to express various aspects of who god is. when you flow in that vein, the vein of who god created YOU to be, that's your personal fire.

when it's all said and done, i prefer to leave religious language like "on fire" behind. it's challenging to do, but it's a goal nonetheless. i say, just get to the point of it all. 

love god.

the end.