SACRIFICE ALL THE THINGS

for spring break, i went on a trip to see version 4.

(note: i will give people all sorts of nicknames on my blog. i do it to protect...nah, no reason i just want to do it.)

(note #2: this blog will make no sense to you unless you read this. it's a blog post from hyperbole and a half. it's where the inspiration for the title came from. it's hilarious and worth the extra reading.)

we had a blast. it was filled with the ups, downs, and adventures that are customary when we're together. we're pretty similar, so perhaps the world is imploding on itself anytime we're in the same spot for more than 24 hours. i'll have to test that theory...near someone that gets on my nerves to see what happens to them.

but back to the story. we went to version 4's church. i had the opportunity to minister to some folks and share a word. at the end, one of the ladies came up and prophesied to me. what she said was confirmation...but it also annoyed me. it involved sacrifice and alienation because of my calling.

that's old news to me. old and UNWANTED news.

i was bothered for the rest of the day. what type of sacrifice will i have to make? and why does it always seem to involve some sort of separation from people? i've always felt the weight of that since i was a little kid. it can be overwhelming. i'm sure if folks really understand that weight unless they've experience it themselves.

i expressed to version 4 that i just wanted to know what it was that i needed to give up so i could get over with. that's when he began smirking and shaking his head at me. he usually does that when i get on these tangents, and it can be loosely translated as "i'll just wait until he's tired of talking about this and he sees the truth right in front of him."

he then looked at me and smiled. "i know what you should do?"

"really? what?"

"sacrifice ALL THE THINGS!" (if you didn't read that blog that i told you to in the beginning, you'll be lost starting now.)

i laughed. "YES! sacrifice them ALL!" and i said that pretty loud.

mind you, we were in a golden corral when this was going on. usually, a golden coral would be filled with loud post-church black women. but this was arizona so it was more like an episode of roseanne; country, but more quiet. everyone heard us yelling.

version 4 raised his hand in the air. "c'mon v! SACRIFICE ALL THE THINGS!"

i followed suit. "SACRIFICE THEM NOW!"

"SACRIFICE THEM FASTER!"

"FOREVER!"

then we stared getting crazy. even for us.

"SET EVERYTHING YOU LIKE ON FIRE AND SAY THANK YOU JESUS!"

"NEVER BE HAPPY!"

"STOPPING SMILING! JESUS DIED FOR YOU!"

we stopped after a while, and then the white folks stopped being nervous at the two black dudes yelling "sacrifice" in the middle of the restaurant. version 4 then got serious. "but honestly v, i think you're making too much out of it. the biggest sacrifices are the ones that we make from day to day. it's not some grand production. just make steps with christ in mind." and that was what we both understood while making those jokes. at times we make sacrifice a grand performance. that's not a good thing. oftentimes life is much, much more simple in how it plays out. and smaller in scale.

i think we too often make christianity an event based faith. we prep people for kamikaze air raids on the kingdom of darkness, to give everything they own to the first person who asks, or to set themselves on holy fire and run through the enemy's camp.

what if some one's life just isn't filled with jesus-themed rambo action? does that mean god hasn't used you as much?

of course not. i remember julie mayer saying something about holiness that stuck with me: "it's day by day, choice by choice, step by step, and yes by yes." i'm sure i quoted that wrong but oops.

SACRIFICE ALL THE THINGS

for spring break, i went on a trip to see version 4.

(note: i will give people all sorts of nicknames on my blog. i do it to protect...nah, no reason i just want to do it.)

(note #2: this blog will make no sense to you unless you read this. it's a blog post from hyperbole and a half. it's where the inspiration for the title came from. it's hilarious and worth the extra reading.)

we had a blast. it was filled with the ups, downs, and adventures that are customary when we're together. we're pretty similar, so perhaps the world is imploding on itself anytime we're in the same spot for more than 24 hours. i'll have to test that theory...near someone that gets on my nerves to see what happens to them.

but back to the story. we went to version 4's church. i had the opportunity to minister to some folks and share a word. at the end, one of the ladies came up and prophesied to me. what she said was confirmation...but it also annoyed me. it involved sacrifice and alienation because of my calling.

that's old news to me. old and UNWANTED news.

i was bothered for the rest of the day. what type of sacrifice will i have to make? and why does it always seem to involve some sort of separation from people? i've always felt the weight of that since i was a little kid. it can be overwhelming. i'm sure if folks really understand that weight unless they've experience it themselves.

i expressed to version 4 that i just wanted to know what it was that i needed to give up so i could get over with. that's when he began smirking and shaking his head at me. he usually does that when i get on these tangents, and it can be loosely translated as "i'll just wait until he's tired of talking about this and he sees the truth right in front of him."

he then looked at me and smiled. "i know what you should do?"

"really? what?"

"sacrifice ALL THE THINGS!" (if you didn't read that blog that i told you to in the beginning, you'll be lost starting now.)

i laughed. "YES! sacrifice them ALL!" and i said that pretty loud.

mind you, we were in a golden corral when this was going on. usually, a golden coral would be filled with loud post-church black women. but this was arizona so it was more like an episode of roseanne; country, but more quiet. everyone heard us yelling.

version 4 raised his hand in the air. "c'mon v! SACRIFICE ALL THE THINGS!"

i followed suit. "SACRIFICE THEM NOW!"

"SACRIFICE THEM FASTER!"

"FOREVER!"

we stopped after a while, and then the white folks stopped being nervous at the two black dudes yelling "sacrifice" in the middle of the restaurant. version 4 then got serious. "but honestly v, i think you're making too much out of it. the biggest sacrifices are the ones that we make from day to day. it's not some grand production. just make steps with christ in mind."

so true. i think we too often make christianity an event based faith. we prep people for kamikaze air raids on the kingdom of darkness, to give everything they own to the first person who asks, or to set themselves on holy fire and run through the enemy's camp.

what if some one's life just isn't filled with jesus-themed rambo action? does that mean god hasn't used you as much?

of course not. i remember julie mayer saying something about holiness that stuck with me: "it's day by day, choice by choice, step by step, and yes by yes." i'm sure i quoted that wrong but oops.

Dell's Slightly Disoriented Rant on Christian Dating...(oops can't say that) Courting

okay, so i'm warning you now that this blog post is a bit of a vent. i'm not really mad about anything, but i have to blog everyday. so, i found something that mildly annoys me and decided to discuss it.

with that being said...feel free to disagree. but i'm not up for "debates" disguised as christian counseling "in love." i'll answer questions though.

christian dating confuses me at times. there are so many rules, secret clauses, and stipulations.

i understand people's need to follow christ. i share the same desire. it's just that i can't easily jump to or through all the christian hopes that we put around this issues. particularly ones that have nothing to do with the bible OR are things that are misinterpreted.

NO I DON'T WANT TO BE A BOAZ TO SOMEONE'S RUTH. because of what i know about the story, i don't think of dating when i read it. i think of other things, like loyalty, commitment, etc. perhaps you think of dating...but not me.

oh and we can't forget the "dating" vs. "courting" argument. yes, because god invented courting in the bible days

-___-

my thoughts? who cares! i know "dating" has a negative connotation but honestly, the words mean different things to different people. it doesn't matter what you call it, as long as you honor god through it. my thoughts are...why enter into a serious relationship if marriage isn't in the cards anyway? i'm not saying that courting is BAD...if that works go for it!

and don't even get me started on the "god said" syndrome. i'm not saying that god can't tell you who to marry. i'm sure god has. but because it's not a standard promise or command (i.e. god's peace or giving and receiving), i can't teach that as the christian norm. god MAY tell you...but how can i predict that? let everyone find out who it works via their own relationship with god. there are so many folks that are gutting it out in relationships that they really HATE because they THINK god told them something. but that's for another post. and to be honest, MOST of the relationships where that has been the claim that i've been around fail. and that includes my own. perhaps you've seen successful ones. i haven't seen a lot to be honest.

(note: no, i'm not bitter. just stating a fact. i actually think my last relationship could've worked out if we had some wise counsel. i know that i received AWFUL advice concerning the situation and that didn't help our case).

basically, i want to meet someone and share life with them and pursue christ together. and have a ball doing it. that's it.

yes, i want to have a deep connection with her.
yes, i want to have a christian home.

but all the other mumbo jumbo...and yes, honestly it's mumbo jumbo to me...you can keep it.

now, perhaps this is great FOR YOU. then by all means go for it! do what it takes to stay after christ. i'll never take that away from anyone.

but i don't have to adopt it either.

end scene. blog requirement completed.

Life Lessons from Sparring pt. 2: Four More Points

since i was suppose to blog yesterday and i didn't, i need to do a double post today. here are some more lessons that i gleaned from sparring. hope they are helpful.

1. don't take a hit when you don't have to

in sparring, especially full contact, the best thing is to avoid contact with the other person's blows. of course, you can block, but blocking won't help if someone is hitting you with a full power kick. you could still end up injured badly.

in life, it's better to dodge and avoid the attacks if you can. oftentimes we get bruised from things that we could have just avoided. the tough part is, unlike in sparring, sometimes the things that you should avoid seem GREAT.

there are times that i wish i would've allowed myself to get hit. perhaps i could've slept around some and "sowed my oats" as the old folks say. had some drunken nights. just do all types of crazy stuff. but ultimately, this leads to bruises or worse. i've seen the bruises they leave on other people. it's not a good thing to carry a limp into a fight if you don't have to.

2. you WILL get hit

this may seem contradictory, but it's really not. despite your best efforts to dodge, sometimes you will get hit. it's inevitable. no matter how good you are at sparring at some point you'll get kicked in head, knocked out of the ring, or receive some sort of blow that will rattle you. as well as you might spar, your opponent is also talented. it doesn't mean that he hates you, or that your coach wants you to get attacked, but it's just a part of the game.

the same thing happens in life. it's not always some grand cosmic scheme that something negative has happened to you. don't be so quick to give god the blame (he doesn't make EVERYTHING happen)...or satan the glory (he's only as dangerous as we allow him to be in our personal lives). we live in a jacked up world where jacked up things happen. the end. there's nothing wrong with you. you just got hit. no more, no less. no need to make up a theological theory as to why it happened. the bigger issue is, "it happened, what now?"

3. you can't practice during a match

if only sparring matches could be like dragonball z. if i could just get angry enough to ascend to another level in the middle of a fight so that i could demolish my opponent it would be great. and i'm one of the few people that actually gets more focused when they are angry. but that's not real life. "potential" is given far too much credit nowadays, and it has no place in the ring. what you can actually do is all that matters. "potential" is like a diamond that needs to be mined out of the ground and refined via practice. there's no such thing as "instant improvement."

in the rough times of life, you can't fake it. either you have the chops or you don't. the circumstances will reveal if you do. it's best to prepare yourself before those situations come up...because just like in sparring you KNOW that you're going to get hit. you KNOW at some point a match is coming up. prepare. develop a relationship with Christ...NOW. it doesn't matter that you heard god in an audible voice two months ago. STALE MANNA IS USELESS AND IT HAS WORMS. what have you heard today? have you experienced god today? have you held his hand today? if not, how will you be able to connect with god in the rough times? what strategies will you have? will you be fit enough? strong enough? if you don't practice when there isn't a problem, you won't be able to show and prove when there is.

4. go on the attack

in the fighting game world, there is this thing called "turtling." basically, you just sit there and block while the other person attacks. turtling can happen for two reasons: 1.) you're scared to attack. 2.) your opponent isn't giving you another option. this happens in sparring, too. having great defense is good, but you can't win if you don't hit the other person. you've got to attack at some point.

turtling isn't always a bad thing, even in life. sometimes all you can do is block. sometimes attacks are coming too fast and furious for you to counter. but sometimes we duck and cover out of fear. that's never good. if you are turtling because of fear, STOP. you'll never win at anything that is important to you. get out there and FIGHT. if you get hit, fine. bear the scars of a warrior instead of the bruises of a wimp.

and if you have no choice but to turtle, pay attention. look for patterns. wait for your chance to attack. because while you may have had to endure a barrage...you've also gotten a chance to see a big picture of how they fight. remember that the one who attacks is also vulnerable to attack.

Life Lessons From Sparring

i sparred again yesterday.

my first impression was that i sucked.

my first time doing tae kwon do was in the ATF/ITF style. the type of sparring is different. it's point sparring and you break once a point is scored.

WTF style, however, is different. it's continuous point sparring, full contact. i've done a little bit of that style years ago. my most memorable moment was when i kicked my coach in the nuts by accident (sorry mr. kim). but that was it. in this style, you can win by a knockout.

the style of sparring that i'm used to doesn't translate well to WTF. what gets you success in one will almost surely get you killed in the other. i was kicked around, pushed around, and outclassed. at one point i became visibility frustrated.

"are you okay?" the instructor asked

"no!" I said emphatically. "i don't know what to do! I feel stupid!"

the instructor's voice went from pushy to encouraging. "look, it's okay to get hit. be strong, get out there, and do your best. practice what we worked on earlier."

something about me is that i don't like doing things wrong. i just don't. my last name is wright for crying out loud. i was enraged by my lack of progress and perceived failure. i was salty the rest of the practice. having an injured foot and slightly bruised shins didn't help.

but when i got home, i realized something.

i performed a lot better than my first time sparring in march. that time, i spent most of the fight running. this time, i sparred three different people. even got some decent hits in. of course, i won't be able to beat them for a while. they have more experience than i do. but if i could magically spar myself from a month ago, i would have beaten my former self.

i've actually gotten better.

i improved, but i didn't notice my improvement because i was gauging myself by someone else's talents and skills. that made me diminish my own strides.

i should learn not to do that. and so should you.

Dell's Dislike List

taking inspiration from a friend, i've decided to create dell's dislike list. there will be a random assortment of silly and serious things on this list, so i guess it really reflects me.

Dell dislikes...

-Wednesdays

-Liver

-when people think theological education isn't important

-when people take the bible WAY out of context

-black eyed peas

-egg whites

-bees, wasps, and other stinging creatures (which pretty much means i don't like australia)

-high maintenance ANYTHING

-the fact that i can't keep my room clean for longer than 3 days

-the fact that i leave a trail of books, paper, and wires wherever i go

-piccadilly's (it's everything i don't like to eat ALL in one spot)

-cold french fries

-open water

-when people think christianity is the "white man's religion" (even though we give them good reason to think that at times)

-bad weaves

-not being able to love how jesus loved

-bad grammar. it vexes my soul

 these are just some of a few things on my list. what's on yours?

tae kwon do: back in action

i love the fact that i'm in tae kwon do again. it was such a large part of my life for so many years. it was the beginning of the resurrection of my self-confidence.

i remember my first practice. it was in downtown asbury park. i was about 12 years old. part of my first lesson was learning how to punch correct. how to hit with the first two knuckles, and how it was best to aim for the part of the face right under the nose.

that next day, i started something that i would do for the next 7 years. i went outside and began to train on my own. i must have thrown 1000 punches that day. problem was that i was in the summer heat. i drained all my energy. i was sick in bed for the next day or so from heat exhaustion. for almost a decade more i would train outside, in our basement, or in random abandoned fields. i ran countless laps around our large city blocks to get in shape.

i remember the time that i was a blue belt. there was a kicking competition at the school, and i managed to defeat everyone, even the higher ranks. A couple of years later, i won a local tournament and a regional tournament.

it was during that time that i met one of the most profound mentors of my life. he trained me in tae kwon do. but his friendship, acceptance, and encouragement has a large part in who i am today. after my dad, i think mr. kim has had the most influence over me. he taught me discipline, to persevere, and to move forward. oh, and to not be so rude (i'm still learning that lesson).

courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self control, indomitable spirit. the five tenants of ATF tae kwon do. i carried these tenants into my walk with christ when it began. in some ways, i think jesus was already teaching me while i training.

i happy to be back at it.