Christian Masculinity

at times, christian men confuse me.

and yes, i'm christian. and a man. *double checks*

i think we cater to the world's idea of masculinity and try to pass it off as christian. we have this warrior, braveheart mentality about our walk and they way that men should behave and i think it constantly falls short of Christ.

of course, the image of an athlete and a solider is used in the new testament. but we have to remember that 1.) those images were used to prove a point that paul was driving home, and 2.) they are images AMONGST OTHER IMAGES. images are used to point to a bigger reality, but the images themselves are NOT the reality. another examples are jesus' sayings about the kingdom. it would be "the kingdom is like..." because he's using an example to illustrate a point about the kingdom. there are MANY examples of what the kingdom is like, not just one. to ignore the others for the sake of one is a mistake.

just holding to one image isn't a holistic (or fair) approach to scripture. one of the biggest failings of western christianity overall is our lack of understanding where we've traded christ's ideal for the contemporary society that we've lived in (that's how TBN stays on the air). according to our standards, jesus is a wuss for crying when lazarus died and needs to "man up." and that whole business about jesus wanting his homies to hang with him before he was arrested? real men go it alone.  oh, and forget that whole lamenting over lost cities with woes and whatnot, and saying that he wanted to gather them up like a hen (luke 13:34). yep, jesus wanted to act like a chicken. a GIRL chicken at that.

according to our culture men aren't supposed to show emotion, besides aggression (i think this is particularly true in the african american community, but that's worth another post all together). men are supposed to be tough, focused, and intense. i don't think those are bad qualities, but being "tough, focused, and intense" usually is an excuse for being hardheaded, narrow minded, and insensitive. jesus was none of those things.

now what i'm saying doesn't negate being good stewards, or providing for families, managing emotions, etc. forget being christ-like, that's just good sense!  but i think that we stifle people's growth when we force them to fit a personality archetype. Character and personality are not the same thing. personality is just that...personal! but character determines how dispense our personality to the world. for example, look at a highway. all the cars have different designs, colors,  and features (personality) but they are have four wheels and run on gas (character).

i guess it's a hot button issue for me because i know how it feels to be looked down at and talked about because i'm not "manly enough" according to society's standards and/or christian standards (which are remarkably like the world).  i've been called all types of names because of it, and some of them still stick with me a bit. but i have to say that my two examples of exemplary men in my life are where i draw my opinion of manhood.

of course, one is christ. i think if we realized how much he was free from the constraints of his society, we wouldn't approach some things the way that we do. the other is my father. my father taught me to be strong, to be diligent. but he taught me to be myself. he didn't make me play sports. he saw that i liked reading better, so he bought me books. he saw that i like drawing so he bought me paper. he didn't try to make into what society thought a "man" should be. trust, verdell wright, sr. didn't raise a punk...but i think more than anyone else i know my father understood the cost of being "mr. rough and tough." he didn't want me, his son, to pay the same price.

thanks dad.