dear god,
so...one day i would like to meet someone, fall in love, and get married. i want the house, the kids, the works. i really, really do.
however, and you know this, i'm not in a super rush. i mean, i don't want it to take forever, but it's not at the top of my prayer list. you know what i mean?
i'm really enjoying being by myself. i like my life. i'm discovering more about myself each and every day. i'm learning about my purpose and what i really want to do with my life. as much as i want to get married...i don't want to stop the process of realizing just how wonderfully made i am. i guess you're restoring the years in that area of my life, and i'm grateful for that.
sometimes the way other christians talk about marriage confuses me. sometimes it sounds like my reward for reaching a certain level of spirituality is a mate. that doesn't seem right to me. how can the reward for my success be another person?
on the other hand, the way some women talk is confusing as well. they talk as if jesus is their boyfriend. c'mon jesus...how can i compete against that? i think i've learned that some people use spirituality to cover up the relational hurts. it's easier to have a relationship with someone you can't see or touch than with someone that's right in front of you.
either way lord, you know my heart. i want to meet someone. i want to get married. but if i have to sacrifice Me...the Me that's been buried under so much hurt, pain, and fear...the Me that's just starting to see the light of day...then i don't think i want it after all.
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"i think i've learned that some people use spirituality to cover up the relational hurts. it's easier to have a relationship with someone you can't see or touch than with someone that's right in front of you." <--SO TRUE
ReplyDeleteAnd the funny thing about doing that is that when the relational hurts soften or go away, the spirituality can go out the window.
Lol @ "Cmon Jesus ... how can I compete against that?" I think women (myself included) say lots of cutesy things to cover up the fact that we're really just lonely and waiting for Mr. Right. Funny how you don't hear women already in relationships saying Jesus is their boyfriend. Ironically when Mr. Right (or as right as it's gonna get) comes along, Jesus become the side boo or weekend fling, and by 'weekend' I mean Sunday mornings only for two hours or less.
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