Personal Theology

today in class my professor said something that got my interest:

"i'm happy that we don't kill each other today over differences in theology, but maybe we've gone too far to the other extreme.  it seems like we don't care about theology at all in our churches.  i hope as educated, trained ministers that you do better."

that rang some bells in me.  for the past few days i've realized how bad theology really gets on my nerves.  bad theology handicaps people in terms of growth.  i hate that too.

i think of theology as an explanation of how the whole god and man thing works.  how does god deal with man?  how does god respond to man? what should we expect from god? these are more are vital questions that we have to understand before we can say that our faith has any sort of coherent rhyme or reason.  now, my understandings and vocabulary are very green....so i'm no expert on this.  i guess this is a newfound interest of mine.  but my heart is really burdened by it, so i guess i'll talk about it for a while.

now of course, one could say "all that matters is that jesus died for you and loves you."  all the other stuff we argue and disagree about doesn't matter.  if you turn to the bible to prove your point, which you probably will, you've already displayed how important methodical theology is to you.  you just demonstrated that your theology places authority in the scripture contained in the 66 documents of the bible...that's how your whole god system works.

so often we place the idea of theology on the shelf.  we "do" theology everyday. we live it.  our actions are constantly detailing to the world around us how we think god works, who we think god is, and how god works in our lives.  these actions are usually what people see before they hear our words.  paul was correct when he said we are "living epistles."

as i reflect on myself and some common thoughts around me...i feel like my epistle needs an Editor!!!  i believe we should all do theology.  if at any point you discuss god with someone else...that is exactly what you are doing!  i'm not saying that we all need to become seminarians (although having more wouldn't hurt), but at what point do we think about what we believe? is our believe pattern actually logical to us?  clearly we can't hit every nail on the head, but are the basics clear?  and after that, do our own viewpoints actually help or harm?  Have you ever thought about what would happen if someone where to live your theology?

maybe i'll do a series or something.  but i'll give some bullet points to clarify.

here's what happens in my head when i think about various statements.

"God is punishing haiti because of their forefather's sins."
"well...if haiti is suffering because of god's judgment, what's the point of sending money?  wouldn't assisting people that have been condemned by god mean i'm going against his will?  plus, jesus didn't seem to care about that.  are thinking with old testament views?  but i thought we lived in the new testament!"  (note: i think mr. 700 club was dead wrong for saying that)

"i don't believe in praying for people to get well."
"well...if you don't believe in at least praying for sick people to be made well, then why go to a doctor?  if i ask god to heal me and nothing happens, god must want me to be sick.  going to the doctor is just getting in the way of his will, right?"  (note:  i'm definitely a believer that god heals today.  he's healed me, i've seen him heal others, and i've been blessed to pray and see others healed as well)

i didn't use those examples to insult anyone's personal beliefs (well, maybe the first one).  i just wanted to give a glimpse at what goes on in my head when i hear statements like that.  what i've realized is that a lot of times our personal theologies are just for us.  they are not lived with the intent of someone else seeing and emulating.   could someone else copy off of you and still get to jesus?  can your life direct someone to the Light?  what does your life point to?  tired, dry, and powerless rituals...or vibrant life in christ?  that's what i'm thinking about for my life, because a big part of my theology is that people need to see that christ means enough and is that dope enough to revolve my life around.

6 down...84 to go

i've completed one week of p90x thus far.  i must say that all in all i've enjoyed it.  it's relaxing believe it or not.  It's an hour away from the normal pace of the world.  plus, i think that i meet god when i work out.  it's something about pushing my body and letting go that allows me to connect to god that much more.

i think i'm adjusting well.  i did a couple of the workouts from p90 to make sure i was ready for this program.  while i have a ways to go before i'm at my best, i was happy to see that i was in solid physical condition to start (note:  if you aren't already in some sort of decent shape DON'T EVEN TRY P90X you'll kill yourself!!!  there's a fit test that comes with it.  if you can pass the fit test, then give it a shot.  but if you can't run around the block...just do p90).

as i'm typing this i'm a little sore and stiff.  i did legs and back today (i had to switch days since the gym would be closed on monday).  i didn't like this workout.  i think it was my mood prior to working out that influenced that.   i went to sleep late and i woke up early.  plus, the gym didn't have that much room for me to move around in the first place.

i had to do pull ups again today.  i don't mind them, but i have trouble with them.  i have to use weight in order to get a good five in.  it's hilarious actually, but this workout is actually repeating an old lesson to me: we all have limitations.  no one is good at everything.  some are good at a couple of things.  some are good at a lot.  no one is good at it all.  you have to adjust and do what you can to do your best.

i also learned something about pride.  in a couple of parts of the program you have to do kenpo.  the kicks and strikes are all familiar from my tae kwon do days, however, i'm a long ways off from championship winning form.  there were some moves that i couldn't do now that i could've done in my sleep ten years ago.  it made me mad.  my black belt is hanging in my closet and i can do some of these simple maneuvers.  then i remembered, titles ultimately mean very little.  it's what you produce that counts.

while i'm sore right now, i can say that i already feel a physical difference.  more energy.  my mind and body are a little more agile.  i'm looking forward to the following 84 days.

formspring.me

Like why did you join your fraternity?

i joined anq because it allowed me to be among a group of men that shared the faith i did. i always wanted to be involved in greek life, but i didn't want some of the other things that went along with it. in anq i can still be involved in greek life (especially stepping, which i love) in a context that promotes my faith in Christ.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

What do you feel is the main issue confronting the Church in America today?

two things:

1.) lack of faith. we don't have a solid belief in the god that does the impossible. one reason for that is that as a country we are very well off. if i'm sick, god isn't my only option. i'm not saying that we shouldn't go to doctors, but the raw faith that allow jesus to do what he did isn't there in abundance.

2.) we've forgotten how to love like jesus loved. we go to one of two extremes: we offer people unsanctified grace by watering down the god's standards of living. on the other hand, we condemn everyone to hell and fail to show the kindness that leads to repentance. both approaches are wrong.

Ask me anything

Multiple Plotlines

Haven't blogged in a while, so I have a number of things to lay out.  Let's just consider this a primer to see what plot lines will be coursing through this semester:

Endurance

It's already the second day of classes for me and I'm tired.  I have three part twos (intro to new testament 2, intro to old testament 2, history of christianity 2). I know that Howard's break was long for them...however, I really don't feel like I rested at all.  A day after finals ended I got on a plane and went to Jersey.  Spent ten days on a couch and went through various emotional ups and downs.  They were good ups and downs...but a roller coaster is a roller coaster.  Came back to DC, and I feel like I never caught my breath.  That was probably my fault.

Still, I feel like at some point I might get worn out.  As much as I love what I'm doing, it takes a lot to perform at the high level that I know I can.  I'm definitely learning to take breaks so I can prevent a shut down.

P90X

I started the P90X program again.  Last time I got to day 35 or so...I think.  I stopped because the tennis season started up.  But since it's winter time outside, this would be a great way to get in even better shape.  I'm scheduled to be done with the program on April 11.

I have some physical goals for this year.  I want to be able to run 2 miles by the end of the year.  I want to weigh closer to 200 pounds.  All of this is with a mind towards tennis.  I want to do well and being physically fitter than most is what helped me.  Besides, exercising is a good temporary pause for me.  It allows me to step out of situations, take a break from the real world for a bit.

Friendships

I'm going to actively seek to connect with some new people.  I think it would be good for me.  With that being said, I feel like some of my current friendships are changing.  At first, I was a little bothered by that.  I'm not as bothered about that anymore, just a little.  I feel like some of the closeness I have some with friends will disappear...simply because we aren't around each other as much.  That doesn't jive too well with me because I like to stay connected via phone calls, emails, etc.  To me (and I emphasize TO ME), real friendships survive distance.  Out of sight but not out of mind.  I know that everyone doesn't operate that way, so no hard feelings...but it still makes me a little sad.

On the other hand, an old friendship has resurfaced.  It's kinda odd.  The friendship never totally died, but it was buried under hurt feelings, disagreements, and all sorts of other issues.  It all started with a random email that we both agreed was unnecessary.  But in discussing the email, we really talked about the place that we had in each other's lives.  More specifically, he told me the place I held in his.  I was floored...I really had no idea.  Our friendship had been a long series of intensity in various stages...a lot of it good.  a lot of it bad.  but time and distance seem to make an effect on things.  It gives people perspective.  we even talked about some of the old times and situations...were he made mistakes and were I made mistakes...about the seriousness of them and even found a way to laugh at them.  we've both grown up a little bit.

Life is going to be interesting.  As you can see by the multiple plotlines.

simple exhortation to myself

instead of looking to what's next, i'll deal with what is NOW.  if i steward my NOW correctly, it will effect what comes NEXT.

formspring.me

Who's the most overrated athlete?

i must honestly say: tiger woods. no shade on his accomplishments, but athlete of the decade? fail. most everyone else on the list achieved their success in a sport that demands much more physical rigor and difficulty.

Ask me anything

going home again...

after being back in the dmv for a few days, i can finally say that i'm beginning to get adjusted again.  but things are not the same as when i left.  i think after i reconnected with my family, i just would rather be back there. i felt like this when i left jersey to come here.  i was done with everything.  i knew that my growth had completed in everything i was doing at that time.  if i didn't leave, i wouldn't have grown.  now, i've changed.  things have changed.  i miss my family.  if i had my perfect way, and if things where conducive to my progress, i would return to nj.

the stipulations of my return to nj:

1. finish my degree.  so clearly i'm not returning for a least two years
2. a job and my own place.  i am NOT returning to 2nd avenue unless i'm moving into the house BY MYSELF! amen? AMEN!

those are the things that would make it okay for me to come back to the garden state.  now, ministry-wise, i would honestly like to pastor in jersey.  ultimately, the goals and vision that i have for ministry are being done here already.  i hate ministry overlaps.  i can't see starting what i want to do here.  i would just join the places that are doing it here already.  but i feel a leading to be a leader in this regard.  so, i'm praying about it.  to my knowledge, there isn't anything that looks like what i want to do in jersey.  so let's see what happens.

honestly, i would just like to be in a position where i could foster closer relationships with my family.  sometimes it's hard to do that over the phone.  you must be there.  is it possible that the clock is counting down on my time in the dmv??? only time will tell.  but from the blog you can already tell what my opinion is...