Family

in a few hours, i'll be back in the DMV.  after spending the holidays in jersey, i can say that i'm coming back with a new resolve in some areas.  i feel recommitted to Christ in some vital basic areas.

The biggest deal for me during the trip occured towards the end.  my mom planned a holiday party the day after christmas.  my mom's side and my dad's side of the family showed up.  it was a packed house (probably too packed).  i honestly wasn't expecting much.  It would be good to see family in all, but i wasn't expecting fireworks. fortunately, i was pleasantly surprised by an amazing development.

i reconnected with my cousins.

these cousins are on my dad's side.  it was wonderful and jarring at the same time.  wonderful because these are the people that i looked at as brothers since i can remember, but we were never as close as i would have liked. particularly my two older cousins...those were my big brothers in my mind. that was a consistent source of disappointment growing up.  it was jarring because for once i wasn't the one and only.  on my mother's side, i'm the "only" for a lot of things.  i was my grandmother's only grandson, which meant i was usually around a lot of women.  not so on my dad's side.  i'm the third youngest, with two older cousins before me. i was around a bunch of men that looked like me, that had a common connection through blood and experiences. my mom commented and said that you can tell her are all related.

i must admit that it was fun being the "younger" one. i sucked every second of it up.  i waited forever to this to happen.  i wasn't "in charge" or "the leader."  it was fun.  i'm sure it will happen again.

so many emotions were stirred up.  happiness that we reconnected.  saddness that i couldn't have this experience while growing up. bracing myself for disappointment just in case it falls off like it had in the past. Although this time, i think it will stick.

i'm just happy it happened.  when it's all said and done i got something that i asked god for long time ago.  delay is not denial, as the saying goes.

here's to new beginnings...