Dell's Not Getting In List

you ever heard the phrase, "you don't have a heaven or a hell to put me in"?

well, apparently, that's not true. as i scroll up and down my facebook newsfeed or my twitter timeline i see lots of declarations about who is going where. these people are sinners. they need to get it together, that's not the real gospel, etc., etc.

maybe god gave some folks a pass to start throwing people into the fiery furnace before time. i don't know. i didn't get a memo so i'm a little hurt. *stops typing and begins to sob*

anyways, i've decided to join the fun myself. these are the people and things that, if i had my little way, would not get into the pearly gates. i wouldn't throw them into hell. there wouldn't be a hell. i don't like heat, lol. they would just occupy a lower level of heaven.

what you'll also notice is that everyone who wouldn't get all of my version of heaven are people and things that personally annoy me. only the sins that bother me the most would get ultimately cast out...

...someone will catch that tomorrow. let me know when you do!

anyways, in the spirit of fun (kind of), here's my list:


Dell's Not Getting In List

1. whoever decided to put that mesh lining in swim trunks
2. old ladies that write checks at supermarkets
3. heatwaves
4. whoever wrote the last season of Heroes
5. people who are chronically late
6. anyone that has a mohawk and/or neck tattoo that isn't in the rap game
7. stinkbugs
8. MD 295 (anyone from the DMV will understand)
9. Benning Road in Washington, DC
10. Coogi sweaters
11. Fubu tshirts
12. Karl Kani Jeans
(numbers 9 -12 i consider zombies because they are dead clothing styles yet they are still roaming the earth)
13. columbus day

(disclaimer: because i know that someone out there won't get it...i'll just make it plain. I'M KIDDING. this list is a joke.)

there, i think that's it. if you had a personal heaven, what would you put in it? and what would you keep out?