MY STUFF MOVES!

i'm convinced that all my belongings have the ability to animate themselves. seriously, i do. i really believe that the majority of my possessions can get up and relocate at their own leisure.

now, if i was still 8 years old i wouldn't mind this. i would just collapse with glee at the thought of my batman, my x-men, my power rangers, and my he-man waging battles on their own. also, i didn't help that one of my favorite shows was this:

i swore that if i wore my great uncle joe's hat, the same thing could happen to me. anyways, while the idea of my stuff being alive was cool when i was a young lad, the prospect is no longer cool to me. here's why. see, i'm a bit...ummm....shall i say CLUTTERED. i tend to leave a pile of things wherever i go. no, not like a dog leaving a pile, but a pile of belongings. it's like a "verdell was here" sign.

i try to hedge this cluttered tendency of mine. i clean things and put them in nice, neat piles. i even think of places to put my stuff (i think they call them drawers and bookshelves). however, my stuff finds some way of getting back into the floor!

i don't know how it happens. i think that when i'm asleep, all of my stuff has a meeting. i think the bibles preside over the meeting because, you know, they are the word of god and all. i can just imagine how the meetings go...

english standard version bible: okay, listen! god is calling us to go to the promised land!

dell's socks: promised land? where is that?

TNIV bible: over there. on the floor. all over the place.

dell's tennis racquets: i don't want to go! i like the closet!

KJV bible: you can stayeth in egypt then!

dell's other books: we'll go!

dell's paper: i'll scatter all over the place!

dell's pens: we'll all hide! and the one that doesn't work will be the only one out in the open!

dell's cell phone bill: yes! dell forgets me all the time anyway!

at some point, i'm sure the bibles convince the rest of my belongings to create a diaspora across the living room floor, and the table, and my bedroom. this renders all my efforts pointless. while i've been able to master the art of washing ALL my clothes (read about that here!), i still have not mastered the art of convincing my stuff to stay in one spot. maybe i need some dr. doolittle type skills or something.

whatever the case is, right now my belongings are #winning because they all get to have massive parties til the wee hours of the morning, and i'm #notwinning because i have to clean up all the time.

maybe i when i get my own place i should get a 2 bedroom. one for myself and one for my stuff. then it wouldn't matter.

or i could just stop being so cluttered and put things away.