What are some of your favorite things?
the thought ocurred to me while i was watching a tennis match on youtube. it was an old match that only a tennis fanatic like me would care about. i honestly just enjoy watching the ball go back and forth. it's one of the most beautiful things in the world, i thought to myself.
that last thought made me stop and ponder a little deeper. i'm a 26 year old black male...and one of my greatest past times is watching a little ball go through the air?
YES. that, and a good comic book. a great laugh. an engaging board game. just a few of my favorite things.
through all of the stuff i've encountered in life, i still have this innocence about me. this child-like demeanor. trust, i'm far from sheltered, but the things i like are so simple. i'm not lusting...i'm not chasing...i'm learning to pursue that which genuinely captures my heart. it's still remarkable to me how many of the societal snares i've escaped. the sex, the alcohol, all the other things that left lasting effects on people's lives is not an issue for me. definitely had my issues and struggles, but i'm free in a lot of areas that others are not. honestly i don't want to attribute all that to god, b/c then i have to explain why he let so many other get into those things.
the things i like in life are genuinely because of who i am...not because of what people say i need to be. i'm becoming more and more comfortable with that.
i may not fit the image at times...but i beginning to like what i see more and more. really. i'm a pretty cool guy :-)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
comfortable in sneakers
"do you realize that if you came to me and said that you were getting married, i would give you holy hell.?
"why?"
"because you are a very young man! you aren't a child...but you have a lot of life ahead of you! you are developing in every way. you're suppose to grow. you're suppose to change."
there's so much potential in my life.
i feel like i'm growing and expanding. at times it's overwhelming, because i don't exactly know what i'm becoming. at others it fills my heart with joy. through it all, i notice a burgeoning sense of confidence in myself. i'm becoming more comfortable with me.
oddly enough, one of the cool ways that i like to express myself is through clothes. especially sneakers. true, all we need is another young african american male obsessed with shoes, but it's really a good thing for me. i'm just learning to express myself in all the various ways that are available to me. learning how to be myself, in Christ. doing what Christ says, and after i've accomplished that...doing me.
"why?"
"because you are a very young man! you aren't a child...but you have a lot of life ahead of you! you are developing in every way. you're suppose to grow. you're suppose to change."
there's so much potential in my life.
i feel like i'm growing and expanding. at times it's overwhelming, because i don't exactly know what i'm becoming. at others it fills my heart with joy. through it all, i notice a burgeoning sense of confidence in myself. i'm becoming more comfortable with me.
oddly enough, one of the cool ways that i like to express myself is through clothes. especially sneakers. true, all we need is another young african american male obsessed with shoes, but it's really a good thing for me. i'm just learning to express myself in all the various ways that are available to me. learning how to be myself, in Christ. doing what Christ says, and after i've accomplished that...doing me.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
my seminary poem
So, I've been in seminary for almost a year now. Here is a poem that reflects my process thus far. Hope you like!
And yes, it's loaded with meaning.
the lines really aren't where we say they are
and the boundaries are really just the beginning
words with eternal implications become more
than bible study conversation
we have to think
ooops
countless streams of revelation, inspiration
hidden away
stifled by our concentration on being correct
or because grandma might object
no, not the elimination of right and wrong
but learning the truth about the truth
attuning the ears more accutely to the Lord's song
but then you get mad because you realize
the song they played before was simply lies
or that the melody you were told didn't matter
is more vital than the three part harmony
the purity of truth drowned out by high notes
and runs
people start confusing truth with noise
just because the noise is easier to handle
than the silence of reality
selah
then you realize again that the lies weren't intentional
just doctrine based on conventional wisdom
fervently taught but never pondered
the canon might be closed but brains are not
stir the pot you won't get shot
but you'll be politely asked to kick rocks
the gravity of your knowledge might just snatch all
our followers
(and our dollars)
this is what happens when the truth about the truth
is preached to the youth
they voice it, and if you won't help them, they find
their own booth and spit
drawing from their own holy writ
drinking the waters that are so available
this is where am what i've seen and what
i've heard
the word...i'm learning about the word that i never heard
but i always knew existed
And yes, it's loaded with meaning.
the lines really aren't where we say they are
and the boundaries are really just the beginning
words with eternal implications become more
than bible study conversation
we have to think
ooops
countless streams of revelation, inspiration
hidden away
stifled by our concentration on being correct
or because grandma might object
no, not the elimination of right and wrong
but learning the truth about the truth
attuning the ears more accutely to the Lord's song
but then you get mad because you realize
the song they played before was simply lies
or that the melody you were told didn't matter
is more vital than the three part harmony
the purity of truth drowned out by high notes
and runs
people start confusing truth with noise
just because the noise is easier to handle
than the silence of reality
selah
then you realize again that the lies weren't intentional
just doctrine based on conventional wisdom
fervently taught but never pondered
the canon might be closed but brains are not
stir the pot you won't get shot
but you'll be politely asked to kick rocks
the gravity of your knowledge might just snatch all
our followers
(and our dollars)
this is what happens when the truth about the truth
is preached to the youth
they voice it, and if you won't help them, they find
their own booth and spit
drawing from their own holy writ
drinking the waters that are so available
this is where am what i've seen and what
i've heard
the word...i'm learning about the word that i never heard
but i always knew existed
where i DON'T want to be
there is one place my soul takes displeasure in, two places that my soul hates
1. my part time job
now, i know that it's a blessing to have a job. however, i sincerely do not like working for these two old people. i pray that when i become old that i'm not annoying/evil. i'm trying to adjust to make it better, but as SOON as i get my money from school i'm dropping this job like a hot potato. for real.
what annoys me about the job? EVERYTHING. the best part about the job is the cookies that i get from subway across the street...and they don't even make those anymore so there goes my inspiration.
2. church
i don't really hate it...i could just never go for months at a time and be fine with it. and it's not every church...but just the one i'm at now. i've been feeling this way for months. it's not that anything's wrong with the church. the people are great. the teaching is good. i enjoy singing on the praise team. i think it's me, honestly. i'm incredibly bored there. i'm ready to leave as soon as i arrive.
i really think i'm the "problem," if there is indeed a problem. seminary and the like are beginning to shape me. i actually enjoy school in ways that i didn't last semester. one theory that i have is that what i get in school in terms of "spiritual food" may be so shazam wham pow that my current assembly just seems kinda "eh." that's not the church's fault though.
also, i realize that i'm a pretty busy dude. i'm in school, and i'm busy with anq stuff. at times i feel a lack of connection and that could be why. can stop school. anq will be less in the picture in a year, but i have my commitments that i want to see fulfilled. again, that's not the church's fault.
it's just me. and even as i sit here and type this i'm even more convinced that i really might need to make a change.
1. my part time job
now, i know that it's a blessing to have a job. however, i sincerely do not like working for these two old people. i pray that when i become old that i'm not annoying/evil. i'm trying to adjust to make it better, but as SOON as i get my money from school i'm dropping this job like a hot potato. for real.
what annoys me about the job? EVERYTHING. the best part about the job is the cookies that i get from subway across the street...and they don't even make those anymore so there goes my inspiration.
2. church
i don't really hate it...i could just never go for months at a time and be fine with it. and it's not every church...but just the one i'm at now. i've been feeling this way for months. it's not that anything's wrong with the church. the people are great. the teaching is good. i enjoy singing on the praise team. i think it's me, honestly. i'm incredibly bored there. i'm ready to leave as soon as i arrive.
i really think i'm the "problem," if there is indeed a problem. seminary and the like are beginning to shape me. i actually enjoy school in ways that i didn't last semester. one theory that i have is that what i get in school in terms of "spiritual food" may be so shazam wham pow that my current assembly just seems kinda "eh." that's not the church's fault though.
also, i realize that i'm a pretty busy dude. i'm in school, and i'm busy with anq stuff. at times i feel a lack of connection and that could be why. can stop school. anq will be less in the picture in a year, but i have my commitments that i want to see fulfilled. again, that's not the church's fault.
it's just me. and even as i sit here and type this i'm even more convinced that i really might need to make a change.
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